2007 Match reports

TSE v Newdigate
Sun 30 September
Temple Sheen ended the season with a home fixture against Newdigate, whom they had defeated by eighteen runs on the first day of the season. The fact that the game took place at all was due in no small way to the Sheen players, who arrived early to prepare the pavilion, outfield and even the strip.
Having played at home some weeks before, the skipper and vice were concerned that the already long outfield may have been left uncut by the landlords who appear to lose interest in all matters cricket including caring for their own facilities as soon as their season ends in August.
After hacking their way through the outfield/jungle, sweeping the pitch clear of droppings and firework debris and restocking the bar with beer, the game went ahead.
We travel forward to the toss, where Ian was informed by Newdigate’s skipper that they were fielding a team made up of an even split between first and second eleven young fit players, so they would like a timed game.  Ian agreed and then lost the toss again. He told us to put on our yomping boots as we were fielding.
There was an end of term feel about Newdigate, their umpire seemed more interested in putting his batsmen off than counting the number of balls and as the banter continued Ian and Pasty went about their business of dismantling the top order.  Batsmen one to six were shared equally between the pair. Both teams seemed happy with Newdigate ending their innings on 199 for 6. 
Ian finished on 12.3 – 4 – 43 – 3, Phil 14 – 2 – 62 – 3, Julian 7 – 0 – 49 – 0, John 2 – 0 – 25 – 0 and Neil 1 – 0 – 16 – 0.  Quite an up and down game for Neil who had started like a one man brick wall in the field, stopping everything hit his way but then had too much blackcurrant/red wine at drinks break causing him to drop a dolly and miss field lots including one occasion when he announced that all was well because he was backing up, obviously as the ball squirted away from him and the batsmen ran another, Neil got plenty of stick. A good display in the field from Rob prompted one comment making reference to him finally finding his hands but the voice could not be positively identified.  I personally think it was Marti.
As usual tea was stupendous and plentiful, thanks to all who have organised, made and served our teas this season and special thanks to Pam for all her hard work and her excellent cakes.  I think we can safely say that she has once again won best club teas by miles.
Julian had got an inkling that he may possibly be in with a shout of the batting award and like a blackjack player he had to decide whether to stick or twist.  Should he go out in his usual spot of number two and adding a few extra runs to his average by hitting an unbeaten fifty?  Hmmm risky business that, what with the opposition being young, fast, fit and fast, he did all that could be expected of a west ham fan starved of recent glory.  He told the skipper that he had hurt his hand and would have to bat down the order!

Rob on the other hand cares not about his average and is always ready and willing to go to war for the team.  He answered the skippers call and went out to bat at two and was back by five past, having scored two.

Young Tom Coggins batting at number three had steadily played himself in and facing his second ball was off the mark with a single, batting with uncle squirrel the two of them put on twenty before Steve’s bat got too heavy to carry for the second week running and he was bowled for sixteen with the score 26-2.  Lego came in and scratched about as usual for a few singles, Tom got himself caught in an eyes lighting up situation for eight, Lego and Ian at the crease 29-3. 
Our intrepid explorers fresh from fighting off snakes, and wild cats earlier in the week still thought they were cutting their way through the Effingham outfield all though Lego was pulling and heaving more than cutting to be honest!  Anyway the boys put on sixty before Lego was bowled off his backside to a wide leg side ball.  The backside appeared to be totally anchored in the crease with very little movement, out for thirty eight.
This meant that Julian was forced to come and bat but with only ten or so overs left that not out was in reach.  Sadly for Julian the crease wasn’t for his little legs and as he failed to make his ground was run out for thirteen (unlucky for some).  Ian was bowled for twenty one and at this point I would love to give a score update but sadly Hinge and Bracket were having a sherry and singing at the piano and had decided that the score book need not be the most important thing of the day, roughly 110-6.
Then the story of the day unfolded as John and Neil dispatched the ball to all parts of the ground, singles threes, fours and a lovely six from John catapulted Sheen to within touching distance of the total.  John finally fell going for another biggy and Neil soon after caught and bowled by the overseas player, a great partnership but sadly due to the reason I gave earlier, I have no idea what it was worth, John twenty three and Neil thirty.  To be fair to Pasty and Del they were by now strapping bits of themselves together in readiness to bat and I understand that whilst putting on his socks Del stumbled into Phil who had one foot in his trouser leg and the other one poised causing both of them to fall over.  Gerry said he found them both rolling around like upturned turtles on the beach.
That catastrophic event avoided Gerry and Phil were now batting and Phil hit a huge six to get off the mark, Gerry hit a huge single to get off his mark and then Mark who wasn’t even playing said that now the two lumps had got off him he had to rush off to work!
By now we knew that we could not win but were determined not to lose and with that in mind and only three balls to come, Gerry took a wild swing at a ball, presumably he had been told that if a really good shot was played, fifteen runs would be awarded but whatever his reasoning he was caught out for five.  Two balls to face, Pasty on strike and after the earlier changing room incident, his partner in grime (that changing room floor is filthy, it really is) Del Boy at the other end.

Pasty must have a bit of romance in his blood, not for him the two ball block out, he pushed the ball away and called Del through for one run. Del set off, at this point it was still day light, as he arrived at the other end darkness had descended on the ground and all the Newdigate team had showered and changed.

We persuaded them to go back out and bowl the last ball at Del, nine men around the bat, Del had by now disposed of his cap and was wearing a miners helmet.  The delivery was on its way, floating towards him, it pitched and it was wide of off stump.  Del left it alone, tucked his bat under his arm, shook the keepers hand and walked off.
Sheen 186-9.

TSE v Dormansland
Sun 23 September
As we approached St Clairs Field for our annual match against Dormansland the cloud lifted the sun came out, the weather was good. All was set fair for the match which also included renewing annual acquaintances' with the likes of George and Stuart and some of the youngsters from our opponents team.

Dormanslands skipper wanted to play a timed game [as opposed to overs] they were the home team, Ian readily agreed. He then won the toss and we batted. Steve C and Julian got us off to our usual solid start 60 for the 1st wicket until Julian [who makes a habit of repeating previous efforts during a game] got out to a miss hit out for 17.

All apart from Kirit then winessed the rarest of sights, Mark Lester, shouldered arms and as they say was bowled without troubling the scorers, Kirit in the meantime was plane spotting, apparently having been delegated to do this for Gerry who was missing, {probably at Gatwick watching short haul flights}.

Leggo went out to join Steve and they doubled the score to 120 before Leggo got himself caught for 29. Marty [yes he is still here] joined Steve who was batting beautifully and they put on a further 43 when Marty was bowled having a swing. Ian Rob and Pasty were getting a little bit worried about the over rate, in 2 and a half hours our opponents had bowled only 38 overs however they stayed in the field for an extra couple of overs to make up for the number of times the ball had been "lost" Kirit came and went for 5 and our newest p[layer made his debut with a cultured innings which could only last 2 balls as tea was being served an immaculate block, followed by a drive for 2 meant that Ian did not have to bat. Steve deserved every bit of the applause he got, 85 not out having batted all innings on a pitch that was not too trustworthy and some accurate bowling. Temple Sheen declared on 178 - 5 at tea time.
Tea time showed that Lyn, Robs young lady had not quite finished training him!!!! he took her out a cup of tea...well done Rob...HE PUT SUGAR IN IT....oops.

Ian and Pasty opened the bowling and the first 19 overs were bowled for 56 runs for 3 wickets 2 of which were caught by Marty,that took us into the final 20 overs and Ian took himself off so our newcomer could strut his stuff, Pastie finished his spell with 3 for 39 off 13 overs, Jonathon swopped ends and got his first wicket for the club due to a superb catch by Kirits son Arun which gave us a much needed breakthrough. Julian came on to bowl, Ian was in a swopping ends mood rightly bringing himself back on with 5 overs left, when Dormansland needed 30 with 5 wickets left.

I mentioned earlier Julians habit for repeating himself, for the third game on the trot he took 2 wickets in 2 balls and yet again missed the hat-trick. It must be mentioned here that the second of those wickets nearly caused on of the biggest crashes witnessed on a cricket field. Julian chased after a catch shouting out "mine"" mine"" Julians" only to find that Pasty was already under the ball and took the catch. As Julian breaked and turned left. Pasty explained that as he shouted for the catch the sweet he was eating got stuck and no sound was heard, still no damage done and every one happy.

The score was 174 for 8 as Ian stepped up to bowl the final over, the first 2 balls were hit for singles and on the 3rd the batsmen went for a second run, Kirit quietly under armed the ball to Ian who ran the number 8 batsman out. Ian then produced the ball of the game to clean bowl the number 10 bat and with 2 balls left Temple Sheen could win, lose, draw or tie, the number 11 survived the last 2 balls, the game was drawn.

Ian ended with 2-43 off 13overs Johnathon 1-39 off 6 and Julian 3 for 53 off 8. Well played both teams and many thanks to Del for scoring, Final memories .... Brenda being marched down to the nets by Colin and promptly being bowled, Rob getting Lyns tea wrong, Aruns brother Amit showing some cool mountain bike tricks and finally Pam asking Derek why Pasty was worried about his rubber disappearing!!! I hope that our spectators enjoyed watching the game as much as we enjoyed watching THEM.


TSE v Strenue
Sun 09 September
A hasty re-arrangement saw the Match with Strenue, whose ground was allocated to Football, playing at Effingham 1-30pm Start.

Both teams at the Ground (0r nearly,Kirit being lost) teas and spectators but no keys. Lego had made a dash to a known address, and appears back with the Keys, Game on!
The uncut outfield, would prove to be a problem for the batsmen but a bonus for the fielders!
Steve and Julian were again asked to open and had 74 on the board WHEN Julian was stumped for 21 as last week Steve followed with his score at 45, another jug evasion.. Ledge and Alexis scored a brisk 23 and 12 respectively, to bring Kirit to the crease (apparently his problem that he had left his wallet at home! Good thinking!) a swift knock brought Neil and Pasty to the crease in search of quick runs. The sight of Pasty running 4 singles in a row, without oxygen, bought the score to 145. Enter Ian 1ball 1 run not out. Could he be seeking to emulate Brian's 2006 performance?

After another splendid tea, which was sampled by next weeks opposing skipper, who took the findings back to his wife, who prepares the teas for Effingham!

Strenue then batted. High drama 2nd ball of his over Pasty pulled a muscle in his bowling arm and proceeded to slip, forcing Ian into the attack as replacement. Simon operating from the other end. Ian's 2nd over 2 successive wickets, hat trick ball, not again we thought!  Strenue were not doing very well 3 for 2 4for 3 8 for 4. at the end of 10 overs Ian had 2 for 6. Neil bowled 3 overs for 17 Simon finishes his 8 overs 2 for 29. Enter Julian and Steve wickets were falling at regular intervals, with only T Davies with 33 and J Bailey with 20 putting up too much resistance, and Strenue were all out for 67. Julian taking 3 for 2 and Steve 2 for 5. In all a good team performance.

Even Ledge had a reasonable time in the field! To make up for his nightmare at Slinfold! His apologies for his out bursts at Slinfold were accepted.

We now have keys for Effingham, so there will be no excuse for anyone to be late in future.

TSE v Oakley
Date: 12 August 2007
Result: Won

TSE v Lynchmere
Date: 5 August 2007
Result: Tied match

The hottest day of the quite frankly, pathetic summer produced one of the closest finishes to a cricket match ever seen by both players and the supporters that had gathered at Effingham on Sunday.
The epic encounter nearly didn't get off the ground as Lynchmere were only five handed at the allotted start time due to the youth contingent of their side having a golf commitment in Chichester that morning.  The two skippers had tossed up in any case and Sheen had elected to bat.  A great decision baring in mind the scorching temperature and the fact that the other team only had three fielders a bowler and a keeper! As squirrel and new opening sensation Julian (no nickname yet, but stay tuned) sat padded up in the shade, time ticked slowly by with still no sign of over fifty per cent of their team. Eventually at 2.35 a dust cloud pierced the blue sky and the vehicle carrying the hopes of both teams chugged down the lane. The game was on!
Julian seemed to be suffering as a result of the delay and asked for a cap to be sent out, word reached us that he was feeling peculiar and may have to retire to the safety of the pavilion.  Squirrel was first back there though as despite looking in good order, he was bowled for 16.  An injury the previous week to swashbuckling number three Mark Lester meant that Sheen had to find a suitable replacement at the crucial batting spot. The skipper had come up trumps with his choice, it was as if he had cloned Lester, many people had to look very closely to see if infact it was the great man himself. It wasn't, it was Pastie.
Phil to his credit was fully aware of his roll as number three, sadly for us he must have only eaten half of it and was eager to get back and finish it off, he was caught going for a big one without troubling the scorer. An out of sorts Lego soon joined him, knicking one behind for just one, 42-3 at this stage became 44-4 soon after, Julian succumbing to the heat, bowled for twenty two.

Ian and Marti were at the crease trying to steady the ship but it wasn't easy and scoring against the tight bowling was difficult, Ian had to try something to stop us becoming marooned. He did, he ran Marti out. To be fair to him it was not intentional, in fact Marti had hit his shot too well if that is possible. The fielder didn't really know how the ball the was travelling at great speed had ended up in his hands but it had and as the batsmen scampered for the run, umpire squirrel had no need for the third umpire and raised the dreaded finger, 58-5.
In times of crisis a calm head is always best, clear thinking under pressure is a necessity, hot headed displays in extreme conditions rarely help, coolness is the key.
Skipper Coggins was trying to repair the large hole that he had created in the centre of the batting crease on hearing that he had indeed run Marti out, amazingly his bat had not only survived the ordeal but had emerged the victor against the stone baked wicket. A triumph of human craftsmanship over nature.

John the Hat was the man to take the skipper's frustrations and channel them into the matter in hand, namely that we were in a spot of bother.

After sensibly playing himself in, John started to play some great shots and along with the wild man of Hampton, who now only had one bulging eye but was still foaming at the mouth, started to build a useful partnership. Eventually John was bowled for nineteen but the recovery had started and the skipper was back on this planet and focussed on the matter in hand.
Young Thomas joined his father and hit a first ball beamer to the boundary for four. A single followed before he seemed to be stuck in two minds on shot selection for an over or two. Ian at the opposite end was in no doubt what shots to play and was despatching the ball to all parts. Tom had the decision of what shot to play next taken away from him when he was stumped on five. Gerry came in, Gerry got out for one. Ian was finally caught for a very important forty.  This left Rob and after his super-sub effort the previous week Derek.
Del boy smashed his first delivery of an inside edge to the edge of the square and Rob called him through for a run that produced rapturous applause from the crowd. Rob then seemed to get stuck at the crease, maybe it was in the cement from Ian's earlier repair job? In any event he was struck on the pad and following the appeal even Del raised his finger. Sheen were all out for 146.
Needless to say a fantastic tea was taken, the addition of onion to the cheese sarnies is going down a treat.
Ian and Marti opened the bowling, Ian as ever was straight into the groove, Marti was struggling a touch with one bat in particular who took an instant liking to his bowling. He was replaced after three overs by Pastie and in just his second over he split the opening partnership that had already amassed forty seven runs, Thomas taking a good catch. The number two bat was the one doing the damage though and sheen had to get him out to stand any chance.
Phil quickly got rid of number three bat, benefiting from an lbw decision 57-2. Ian who had conceded just twelve from his first six overs took a wicket in his seventh and eighth overs, including the prize scalp of the number two batsman who had reached forty one.

Lynchmere were now 65 for 4 which after a bit of slow play by the batsmen and a few very well bowled overs by Ian and Pastie became 78 for 5. Ian replaced himself with Julian who appears to be a little accident prone.  Last week he fell over the fence into the ditch whilst preventing a four, two weeks ago his pad came undone and tripped him up mid run which produced a forearm graze almost down to the bone!  This week he fell forward at deep mid off to take a catch to the useful left handed bat but as he did so the ball slipped out and he reopened the forearm graze.  All of these incidents are nothing to the sight of the diminutive fellow chasing down a ball to the boundary, failing to do so and also failing to adjust his stride to tackle what to most is just a grassy mound but to Jules must seem like Mount Everest. In failing to run up it he decided to try and run through it which wasn't a good idea. Once again Jules was sprawled out on his back nursing yet more bumps and bruises.
The Lynchmere Skipper had come in at number seven and was quickly getting them back on target a good partnership was broken up by Jules, trapping the lefty lbw 126 for 6.
The twenty overs were diminishing fast and it was going to be close. Lynchmere seemed to be out of proper batsmen so it looked as if their skipper was the key. Another wicket fell in Julians next over 134 for 7 with only two overs remaining.

Pastie was now about to bowl his fourteenth over, an amazing achievement in itself but add the weather conditions this truly was a great performance. He conceded eight runs from his last over of the day which also included a run out on the last ball, his figures were 14-4-46-3 and the score was 142 for 8.
Five runs needed from the last over of the game and everyone was back on the boundary with their skipper on strike.  Julian would bowl the over.  Two dot balls but then a crushing four unusually for their skipper on the off side, scores level with three balls to come, Sheen were looking doomed.

Then for some strange reason and with all fielders now in, the forty four not out skipper decided to block the next two deliveries.  It was coming down to the last ball of the game.  One run for Lynchmere to win, Sheen could only hope for a tie. 

Julian let the ball float from his hand it pitched, the batsman set his stance for the winning blow, his bat met the ball (damn) where was it? He hadn't hit it on the ground, it was uppish, we had a chance. It wasn't middled, it was in the mid on area but heading over Ians head, they were running, Ian was back tracking, the sun was in his eyes, "catch" went the whole team.  Running back towards the mid off boundary Ian had locked onto the ball and in one graceful move he plucked in out of the air from over his shoulder, FANTASTIC
The game had been tied and to be honest that was an appropriate ending. It was one of those games and days which makes us cricket lovers realise why we hate the winter months.

TSE v Bagshot
Date: 15 July 2007
Result: Won

Back at home this week against Bagshot. I must admit with the rain that fell the previous night I was very surprised I had not received a phone call stating a waterpolo match was residing at Effingham this week. Still with wellies and umbrellas the family set off for Effingham.
On getting there we noticed the boundaries all around had been bought in 10-15 feet all round
This was extremely helpful for the likes of Julian and Mark, as they only have little legs and were slowly sinking via the quicksand which was once the outfield.
Anyway the heavy roller wasn't required so Pasty sat down for a cuppa b4 the match. Julian had already laid his stall out at this point by requesting to me that this match would be unfair to include any batting /bowling figures be added to the averages as he believed he would be quite expensive. Ok Jules you is the boss, (something which may come back and haunt). We lost the toss to the vice skipper Lego, (as Ian was handing out condoms to the scouts at his Summer camp {thanks for that info Del}) and we were put in ...
Steve and Julian opened and it wasnt long before we were 80 odd without loss, a far cry from last weekend! Well done chaps, Steve was the first to go caught for 32 from the same fielder who dropped in in the first few overs. Poor John at one stage umpiring flapping like a worried Albatross, as no one seemed to want to relieve him. Mark went in next taking 10 off 1 over before being bowled by a good length ball clipping the top of off stump. Julian at this stage had passed 50 and was settling down to enjoy the innings. This was short lived as Lego had him running 2's and 3's still this wasn't counting towards Julians averages. Lego moved the score on swiftly before being caught by the juggler at square trouser for 17. 
Marti in , took 14 off one over before being bowled for 17, John next tried to get us passed 200 before perishing in the melay. Julian desparate t get 200 sacrificed his wicket and ws caught off the last ball for 82.
Thanks to Del this week for scoring and Pam and Steve for the superb tea. Custard tart on the cake rota this week. hooorahhh. Thanks to the missus for helping out and before long we were back in the field.
Got off to a good start with Mark bowling the opener and Simon gtting the other with a magnificant catch by Matt, the hang time on the ball gave Matt the chance to straighten his hat and re-adjust his cravat- top ho!
12 for 2 what a start, then the fun began, Lego thinking we were onto a winner continued with the strike force of Sim and Mark, their number 4 came in and hit 20 off one of Simons overs... it was one of those days, he was not antipodean but was a first team bat, only because the team would have turned up with only 9, so no probs there. The fielding throughout was excellent, Julian again with some great fielding falling in the bush...
Poor Matt took a tumble between overs (over his ego .... just kiddin Matt) and pulled his calf... Off Matt went and on came Super-sub Del. Phil came into the attack and bowled a tidy spell, with help from the man not to be included in the averages Julian, got the danger man out for 53. From then on it was only a matter of bowling accurate and taking the wickets... their no 5 was bowled by Phil for 5 , then the spin twins came on Steve removing the number 7 for 31 caught by Lego and Julian weighing in with 2 bowled's and 2 assisted stumpings to leave the other team 20 odd short. Poor Mark was carried off after taking a super diving catch only to drop and twist his troubled knee. Hope its on the mend Mark.
Louis came on , so the old and the new were on for TSE.Thanks Louis what a throw!

TSE v Charing Cross Medical College
Date: 22 July 2007
Result: LOST

Charing Cross Medical were our opponents, they won the toss and decided to bat. Lovely ground, huge boundaries and a pitch that had been under the covers  during last weeks rain.
Strange sort of an innings, we fielded very well, bowled very well and caught brilliantly. Lego caught 3, Pasty, Si, julian and Matt all helped with catches and all the players backed up Mark whose fielding was affected by a large tear in his trousers which seemed to stop him bending but did not affect his bowling. He shared the first 14 over's with Simon, limiting Charing Cross to 47 for 2 both being Marks victims. Pastie and Ian came on. Ian 2-14 off 6 and Pastie 3-34 off 9 Julian with 2-8 and Steve C 1-17 finished the innings off in the final over.
Impressive that our figures seemed, Charing Cross's was better after 16 overs, as we were restricted to 18 runs. Their opening bowler 10 overs  6 maidens 4 runs 0 wickets put us behind the clock and we never recovered.  Still we stayed longer in the bar than they did
One final point, many thanks to Dell who yet again turned up to support and score.

TSE v Churt
Date: 15 July 2007
Result: LOST

TSE v Wonersh
Date: 08 July 2007
Result: DRAW

TSE v Whiteley Village
Date: 24 June 2007
Result: WON

Amazingly, considering the awful weather conditions, a full game was possible, due in no small part to the determination of all present to reach a conclusion but mostly a large bag of sawdust. In contrast to the beautiful day we had three weeks earlier, in the first match of the series, intermittent drizzle and a slight chill gave way to steady rain as afternoon turned to evening. Credit therefore to the skipper and players of Whiteley Village who displayed admirable sportsmanship throughout.

Mark Lester showed some timely application with an unbeaten 55. Patience was the key on this gluey, stodgy wicket and he was, waiting for the chance to pull and drive and cut. Steve Coggins with yet another twenty-odd, including a nice 6 over square leg, Julian and Marty later on, helped to guide Temple Sheen home after good restictive bowling and some excellent catches earlier had seen Whiteley all out for 110.

Marty Alexis returning figures of 8-1-20-4 and Julian Samways 8-3-14-2 had turned the screw on the home sides middle order following their promising start. Alexis especially, drew much veneration from the Village colts after castling opener Stephenson who had provided the mainstay of the innings with a chancey, slightly uppish, but hard hit 68. The catching was done by Brian Redford, Phil Cornish, Marty Alexis, Mark Lester(2) and Steve Ledger with a superb effort, atoning for an earlier drop. Captain Ian Coggins, suffering with a slight abdominal strain, took a back seat role but hopefully he will be fully fit for next week.

Three wins on the bounce for Temple Sheen as the players retired to the bar, taking shelter from the rain, to polish off the remains of an extremely good tea and wash it down with Stella and Pride...

Club Day
Date: 17 June 2007

Before a unexpectedly large crowd of blue t-shirted cyclists, Lego won the toss and put Marks Marvels in. Openers Gerry and Graham appeared not to fancy the 40 overs per side format, picking out Lego at mid on 2nd ball and Lee a couple of overs later respectively. Derek took on Lees arm for a quick single shortly after and came second, leaving the innings precariously placed on 30odd for 3. It was at this point that firstly Tom Coggins, with a particularly aggresive 39, Pasty a well paced 36 and Julian, a superb 81 and the days top score, fortified the innings. Toms beautifully placed 6, over his fathers head at midwicket was an outstanding statement of intent whilst Julian was very severe on anything short. Matt did not trouble the scorers but did upset Colin with his dressing room strop before little cameo knocks from Amit and Mark brought the curtain down on the innings. Amit, another Sunbury colt, played quite attractively including one lovely boundary off dads bowling.

237 all out, a reasonable score on smallish ground, may well have been many more without good bowling from Neil (2-22,) Kirit (1-30) and Brian (2-21.) Lee backed up his good allround fielding display with 1-26, Arun bowled well without reward and Ian was his usual stingy self, returning figures of 2-3. Lego, ubiquitous as ever in the field, lead by example with 3 catches.
Tea was taken which included plentiful trays of sandwiches, pate and an excellent assortment of cakes; malt, walnut, chocolate etc. With such a lavish spread offered at all Temple Sheen games it's quite frankly a shame to ruin the festival of food with cricket...

Legos Legends got off to flier in their reply, Neil with 43 and Kirit 44, peppered the legside boundary and in what seemed no time at all had put on 80 or so. Some average bowling and fielding helped them on the way until Gerry produced a remarkable one-handed blinder of a catch at square leg to end Neils hard hitting. Kirit followed soon after and when Lee holed out to Amit off of Pasty it was game on. The middle order of Tommy (16) and Brian (52) reduced the target further with Brian playing some fluent off drives, one of which from Marks bowling, challenged for shot of the day. However they weren't home yet, a mini collapse ensued, Tommy caught by Julian off Pasty and Brian stumped giving Mark some revenge were followed soon after by Arun, also short of his ground charging Pasty and then Ian trapped in front by Simon. Cool heads were needed, Rob with a gutsy 23 and Nish a chanceless unbeaten 28 provided just that to steady things and finish the job. Pasty with 4 for 24 was the pick of the bowlers, Simon (1-21,) Julian (1-30) and Mark (2-22) gave support. Gerry and Amit aside, who both worked tirelessly in the field, the out cricket was fairly nondesript. Incidentally, for the sake of posterity, the Bookham Old Buggers Handicap was won by Sea Dog Derek, who stayed on stoutly to hold a one paced Phil the Lag...

A good game in which everyone made some form of contribution and came down to the last pair, typical club day. Well done the skippers, Lego and Mark whos careful planning ensured as much and all the girls for their support and brilliant catering.

TSE v Caterham
Date: 10 June 2007
Result: WON

Our heroes visited the surprisingly picturesque rugby/cricket club of Caterham last weekend, hoping to continue the fine vein of form that they have enjoyed over the last few weeks.
Sheen batted first and returning from a week off picking up a parcel in Devon, part time UPS driver Steve "squirrel" Coggins was reunited with his latest partner, Matt. The two have recently made some very good opening partnerships and Matt has occasionally helped out by scoring the odd run in thirty!

True to form the score was soon in the twenties, despite the best efforts of the Caterham opening bowler who was moving the ball away from off the seam very effectively. One such ball flicked Steve's outside edge and just carried to the keeper to end what had looked a promising innings.

Mark, who had announced that he had broken his little toe the day before defending a yorker from his young son Colin in their back garden, hobbled to the middle. He was obviously in pain and decided to adopt a boundary only policy, (not sure that Matt had agreed) as his first five scoring shots were all fours. During this time, the opening bowler managed to bowl Mark, or so we all thought, amazingly though for the lucky little hobbit, the ball passed through the stumps and failed to remove the bails, (well done to the opening umpires, Lego and John for ensuring there was enough room for this to happen). Mark eventually was bowled just after the drinks break for twenty nine.

Matt eventually played all around a straight one and was bowled for sixteen. Whilst Marti had already dispatched a couple of his usual Caribbean boundaries, John hit a couple of nice fours but was then out for thirteen. Marti heaved a not perfectly timed one and soon joined John. The score was 110 ish for 5.

Lego, who had earlier been asked to bat his usual four had presumably been seriously reprimanded for some sort of misdemeanor as he was then pushed down to five and then further down to six! The skipper declined to enlighten the press on this matter when later questioned as to why he had BOMBED his vice captain, stating only it had nothing to do with the pedello incident on the recent tour. Lego seemed to be slightly off at the start of his innings, timing was way off and he was scratching about like an old tramp that had been chased by a swarm of fleas straight into an itching powder factory.

Eventually he got it together and scored a quick forty one. Simon was supporting at the other end very well and the two of them reached a quick fifty partnership. The last over of the innings saw Lego and Ian bowled in successive balls and Rob successfully evading the hat-trick ball. Sheen ended on 177-7 declared from 43 overs.

After tea we took to the field and hoped that our recent good bowling and fielding would stay with us, now that we had a reasonable total to defend. None of us could have guessed how good things were going to go.

Caterham's openers made their intentions known early on, hitting several boundaries through and over mid on and off. Despite this and a group of local ASBO-collectors who were enjoying their drunken afternoon in the sun by firing water bombs via a catapult into the outfield, our boys stuck to the task in hand. Ian and Simon had settled into good tight bowling and before long made the break through. Ian continued his recent purple patch with exceptional figures again 9-3-14-4. Made all the better by the fact that he is moving the ball and bowling most of his victims. I for one will be hoping that he is on my side at the upcoming club day. Simon is bowling some equally unplayable deliveries that are not really getting the wickets that they deserve, however he has worked out that if he chucks in a rank long hop or a waist high full toss, then the batsman who has by now begun to think how he is going to get a run from this chap, has a wild thrash at the ball only to find it hurtling to one of the salmon like fielders. One example of this was a full toss that the batsman smashed through the mid wicket area, or so he thought, only for Marti to stick both hands up to his right and pluck it out of the air. A great piece of fielding by him. He is not only keeping the average age, but also the average waist line down to near acceptable levels. Simon finished with figures of 10-2-36-4 and this weeks man of the match award.

Young Bilbo Coggins bowled a good spell for the second week running 3-1-7-0 and another young lad by the name of Pasty hoovered up the tail with the greatest of ease 2.5-1-2-2. There is clearly still life in the old dog and speaking of old dogs, congratulations to Rob who was deputizing for club keeper Gerry, who was away at an S and M convention. Rob took two very good catches behind the stumps and I am informed that they were his first in that position after only three games. He could have overtaken Gerry's current career total had he held onto the other three but hey it's a difficult position and you can't expect miracles.

Caterham were all out for 77 from just 28 overs. Well done lads and keep it up.

TSE v Whiteley Village
Date: 3 June 2007
Result: WON

Ian lost the toss and we were put into bat on what looked like a good track but actually played slowly. Whiteley took the field with at least 4 colts and we had 1, Thomas. The game was to be 40 overs a side and battle commenced.

To be truthful not much can be said about our innings, Mark Lester top scored with 27, Marty made 22 not out and the only other double figure score was 19 by Matt Richardson, there were also 4 ducks. TSE were all out for 115 in 39.2 overs. All Whiteley's colts had bowled well and tea was taken.

A superb tea, lovely home made cakes, enough cheese sarnies for Ledge. Many thanks to Pam and the ladies.

AND NOW THE FUN STARTED... Mr McManus could not find the wicket-keeping gloves and decided that Rob was to blame, sold on e-bay, left on the Isle of Wight and where are they then you silly man were some of the printable comments, Robs neck got redder. Gerry [sensibily] went to borrow the opposition's gloves and our ones turned up. It appears that Simon is not doing his fatherly duties as well as he should be and young Louie, who wants to become a wicket keeper had borrowed the gloves [yet another Coggins gets a mention] mystery solved.

115 is not many runs to defend, but our skipper Ian was superb. He let Simon open the bowling, first ball a friendly thigh high full toss skied back to him caught and bowled 0-1. Numbers 2 and 3 wanted to end the game in 10 overs. 30 runs came quickly before Ian got them both and the number 4. Simon took the 5th wicket and Whitelys youngsters came out to bat. It was a pleasure to watch the way the colts played they took the score onto 100 -7 Thomas, Rob and Mark having a bowl, Ian came back on to take 2 more wickets and finish with 5 for 40 while Mark took 3-16.

We had dropped a couple of catches, mis fielded a few times but team spirit shone through and we won by 10 runs.

TSE v Bank of England
Date: 20 May 2007
Result: DRAW

High interest at the bank on Sunday with a good turnout of support by the wives
and families to one of TSE's old stomping grounds.

It was good to see the old place, although it was almost unrecognisable by the
amount of building works. Good to see the hike in interest rates
has gone towards bettering the place!

Anyway, to business, the journal for this week's game-forecast was good with sunny spells all day. Skipper was missing in action this week after having the rules of footie explained, was off to the baseball ground at Derby to play a game of five aside football for charity. (He don't like to mention the work he does, for cccchhhhhhhhhhaarity). Lego stepped into the breach, and after an account analysis of the opposition lost the toss, and we were put in the field. There was no Antipodean opener this week, but a young lad from Cranleigh School was ready to spoil our fun. It seemed from the onset the openers incentives were clear to disperse the ball to all parts of the ground, getting a glut of runs ending up with a high balance on his account and colluding with the other opener, to ensure we ended the day with insufficient funds in our account.

He started well and soon they were 60 odd without loss, he reached 30 with little effort. This was until a clown, entertaining some sprogs on the hedgey hillock was heard to shout, it's behind you and Brian had him bowled playing on for 38

Brian then had the number three trying to open his account but without adding to the score. Easy money! On the hat-trick, Brian charged back to the spot, came in full pelt but their number five dealt with accordingly and was not part of the hat trick ball.

Couple more overs went by before Brian had the number five bat caught majestically behind by young, good-looking, wicketkeeper for 2 runs. The score then was on about 75 Simon bowled the other end with little joy and was soon replaced by Mark, who quickly got a wicket and it was game on.

Rob replaced Brian made the afternoon look easy, with three for very little, which included another possible hat-trick, which didn't materialise. Good catches from Lego, Matt, Marty and again did I mention the catch behind by young, good looking wicketkeeper? They were 129-9, when a nick depreciating to the turf gradually, was missed by the keeper. In fact, the team had spilled five catches, overall today. Julian (2 wickets) and Mark(1 wicket) finished the bowling and squirrel ended their innings with a catch at first slip 158 all out to many by far, when it could have been a lot cheaper!

Tea was taken, scones and chocky cake in abundance, but not a single bit of cow's milk turned into a mould for Lego. It was then that it was agreed that our innings would have no banking terms in whatsoever, as it was getting a tad boring and hard to keep up.

Steve and Matt put on a quick 30 odd before Matt looking good on 11, holed out and was caught at point. Steve soon followed after a dodgy call LBW decision for 22.

Marty lasted a couple of balls before also given out lbw by Philip. Lego and John added a couple as to did Gerry and Lego, before John was given lbw after being halfway down the wicket and me being bowled by a ball that never got off the ground. That bought Lego and Mark, together. It looked good for a short period of time, with Lego moving on to the 20's....before being caught and Mark to 28 before he was out.<

Rob came and went, which left batsmen of the year, Brian and Simon to complete the match with a well fought draw, good shots at the end by Simon and Brian as always not out. Good day had by all, thanks to Derek and Phil for scoring and umpiring respectively. Cest la Vie!

TSE v Wessex Exiles
Date: 13 May 2007

TSE v Hampton Hill CC
Date: 6 May 2007
Result: TSE LOST

Skipper Ian Coggins won the toss, did the right thing and elected to bat first at the picturesque Hampton Hill ground. The weather was set fair and was surprisingly warm. Steve and Matt opened up but unfortunately Steve was back in the the pavilion after three balls having been deceived by the uneven bounce of a grassy track and quick-ish bowling of the HH young opener.

Mark and Matt then set about establishing a good partnership which formed the back bone of the Temple Sheen innings worth 86 runs. On his way to 78 Mark hit a number of well stuck fours, mostly square of the wicket. Bad leg or not he showed just what we've been missing whilst he was out in the States. Matt played a valuable role in the partnership, playing the anchor man which gave Mark the opportunity to score freely.

Things looked very healthy at 86-1 at the half way mark....

Unfortunately both Matt & Mark departed in rapid succession and after that, only the ever dependable Steve 'lego' Ledger offered any resistance to the HH bowling. He scored 38 out of the last 60 runs.

John, Julian, Lee and Ian, as well as Steve at the beginning of the innings all got ducks, although it must be said that Julian, on his return after injury was unfortunate to be given run-out by the home umpire when he had made his ground. Temple Sheen were eventually all out for 146 and the feeling was that they had again fallen short short by about 40-50 runs and were going to have to work hard in the field to make amends.

After a lovely tea including choc-ices, donuts, spring onion and lots of brown bread sandwiches Temple Sheen, felt turbo-charged and set about their task.

The bowlers played as a tight unit and were backed up by keen fielding from everyone. Simon bowled the best he's done for a number of years and was unfortunate not to pick up a wicket. I think he was putting on a show for Jane who had only just flown in from Australia from an extended 3 week holiday. Ian, Steve and Julian all picked up wickets. The runs came slowly for HH and at the 20 overs they were 50-3.

If one moment typified Temple Sheen's great fielding it was Lee's throw to Julian to run out one of their batsman. But we mustn't forget Lego's part in all of this, where his sliding tackle set up a brilliant decoy which lulled the batsman into thinking there was an extra run. Lee cannoned, the ball from the boundary straight over the stumps for Julian to take the bails off. Possibly the champagne moment of the match?

We were also entertained by a herd of female deer wandering onto the pitch. Was it the smell of Chinese chicken wings cooking, off in the distance? Was it the extra testosterone in the air that confused them into thinking the mating season had arrived early? Or just the site of Pasty in his white coat? We may never know! Anyway what a pleasant site...no not Pasty....the deer!

After drinks Jim Trott (no, no, no,... no... yes) and son decided to increase the run the rate. After 30 overs HH were 96-4 when one of their batsman advanced down the track, was stumped and carried on walking to the pavilion without having to be given out. Very sporting we all thought! But all became apparent why he was so keen to get out and get the next batsman in. Temple Sheen had bowled and fielded so well for three quarters of the HH innings, but had no reply to the number 6 batsman who came in and made a very quick 30. By all accounts he had been promoted up the order and took the game away from Temple Sheen.

All the players were understandably despondent after the game. What was needed was a night out, a few beers and a curry. By the time we reached the Blucher the gloom had lifted and at the Taste of Rat, next door, the skipper feasted on Curried Otter - aka tarka dahl and Mark was even seen trying a poppadom with his chips - he'll be eating brown bread next!

Well done and thank you to Derek & Pasty for scoring and umpiring.

TSE v Concorde CC
Date: 29 April 2007
Result: TSE LOST

Temple Sheen took to the air in stylish surroundings on Sunday when they lined up against Concorde Cricket Club at their adopted home in Send.

Sadly the boys couldn’t build on last week’s business class performance and found themselves on a six hour flight in cattle class, seated right at the back, next to the toilets with a fat bloke for company!

Sheen won the toss and decided, as is customary for our heroes, elected to bat first. The opposing skipper had declared that his side were a “half decent third eleven”, a perfect match, surely?

The pitch was full of vipers as Steve’s body would confirm. He took an early pop to the wrist that nearly took his head off. However the majority of the rogue balls were keeping low. Who would be an opening bat? Brian who was one of only a couple of players who had played at the picturesque venue before had stepped forward into the firing line and was starting to form a good opening partnership with Steve, hitting two lovely shots for four, before receiving a shocker that pitched on a length and then kept obscenely low, he was bowled for eight.

As well as the ball that popped, Steve also received a beamer that struck him in the gut; however both umpires were unable to determine whether it was above or below the waist line, so a “no ball” was not called!

Steve was eventually out for twenty two, leaving Mark and Keith (making a guest appearance, less than 5 miles from his home) at the wicket. Mark played two lovely cuts for four runs before being given out lbw, a fate that also awaited Keith shortly after for three, leaving Lego and Marti at the crease.

Marti holed out to an amazed mid off fielder for six runs and the Concordians were growing in (very politely, it must be said) in confidence.
John was next man in and was clearly looking to push things along, sadly he was all too soon back in the hutch having scored six.

Next in was the skipper, he provided good support to Lego in spite of some annoyingly accurate bowling and these two were building an innings when Lego played a rash shot to the leg spinner and was stumped for fifty nine. Ian was out shortly after for eleven, quickly followed by Neil for four and Mat for no runs. Rob was not out for nought, Sheen all out 144.

Another excellent tea was taken. No cheese sarnies but coronation chicken was a superb substitute and a superb back up of ham and coleslaw followed by Victoria sponge cake and chocolate chip muffins with a very superb first cup of tea (sadly the second pot was rushed and was basically hot milk).

The lads took to the field full of vigour and enthusiasm but sadly the patrons of the former long nosed British Airways flagship had a bit too much about them and despite tight opening spells from Brian 12-3-36-0 and Ian 7-127-1, also a brilliant run out by Brian as a result of a tremendous pick up and throw from Marti, they knocked our score off for the loss of just four wickets.

In summary, Sheen clearly didn’t score enough runs, especially in view of the all round quality of the opposition and were always swimming against the tide. However they displayed the ever present, never say die attitude and at the fall of every wicket the lads were upbeat and optimistic that they could win the game.
It should also be noted that the opposition were complete gentlemen throughout the game and complimented our team on our dogged spirit and never say die attitude at the end of the game, which made the quite emphatic defeat much easier to swallow in the bar.

Next weeks game is at Hampton Hill, so let’s hope we can pick up the winning thread again.

TSE v Newdigate II
Date: 22 April 2007
Result: TSE WON

How does Brian do it? He moves the start of the season forward a week, takes us back to Newdigate for the first time in years and look what happens.

Glorious weather, a great tea, a great game and a superb way to start the season!

Ian was late [nothing changed there then] so Ledge came to an agreement with the opposition that we would play a timed match with us batting first.
Steve and Ian opened for us and by the 15th over had put on 53 Steve was caught for 27, Mark Lester came out at no.3 and was the second wicket to fall bowled for 12 bringing in Ledge. By the time Ian was out he had scored 27 and 150 was up in the 32nd over. ENTER MARTI. We have spent a lot of time in the close season trying to get Marti to the nets this was his reply, first ball flicked off his legs for 4 followed by another one 2 balls later, Ledge reached his 50 in the next over and the following over Marti hit 2 sixes and a four, accleration by Ledge and Marti just at the right time We lost Ledge 57, Marti 32 and John going for runs at the end of the innings and we ended up on 200 for 6.

We were treated to an excellent tea during which Ledge informed all and sundry that he had scored more in one innings than the winner of 2006's batting award did throughout the season.

Newdigate went out to bat and Brian and Mark shared 14 overs between them taking a wicket each. Rob got an LBW which he told me about at least 20 times on the way home, Marti took a blinding catch which was not mentioned once, I digress, Newdigate progressed towards their target, Ian 4 wickets and Steve 2 wickets helped by a superb fielding display which include a run-out thanks to smart work by Matt and Neals fantastic work fielding both sides of the wicket [must find out what Ruths feeding him] Temple Sheen ended up winning by 18 runs.

Del and Pastie shared umpiring and scoring duties, Jules will also be out for a bit, hopefully our injured players will be fit for tour.
If the rest of the season is as good as the first day then it will be one good season!